Beginning at a very young age, society sends a message about romantic love that is far from realistic and that can actually sabotage the path to a healthy relationship. From Disney movies to adult romantic comedies and fairy tales to chick lit, we are continually barraged with the image of one true love that makes all our dreams come true. While we all know this sort of ideal isn’t an accurate depiction of real-life romance, that doesn’t change the fact that this vision often permeates our view of how things should be. If you want to regain the spark you once had, read on for suggestions on ways to embrace your partner’s flaws, rather than criticize them.

Stop Thinking You Have to Fix Your Significant Other

When something is annoying you about your partner, it’s a natural reaction to want to change that thing or to fix the problem. Attempting to change another person rarely ends well and usually just causes resentment or hurt feelings. Instead, take some time to assess the reasons for your annoyance. Write down some theories. Then consider each one to determine to which one your intuition most relates. Once you’ve figured it out, set aside some time to discuss the offending issue with your loved one, trying to refrain from becoming accusatory or critical.

Be Realistic in Your Expectations

Yes, you know that real life isn’t like it is in the movies. That doesn’t stop you from being hurt when your significant other fails to acknowledge your feelings or from being miffed when your other half forgets to complete the task that was promised. However, putting these kinds of things into perspective can help you decide if they’re simply human slip-ups or deeper character flaws that should be addressed. If your partner isn’t habitually neglectful or unreliable, it’s healthier to cut him some slack.

Appreciate the Wonderful Stuff

While it may seem cliché, focusing on your partner’s best qualities can be truly effective in creating more positive feelings when you feel yourself start to become overly critical. Remembering why you love this person and the meaningful ways they contribute to your life A bit of gratitude can go a long way toward a healthier outlook.

Couples often become disillusioned after being together for an extended period of time. It’s normal for things to stagnate a bit.  Hopefully, these quick tips can help to put the spark back in your relationship.